Streets of Ha Noi

We traveled to a bar in Ha Noi whose online review promised rats. We didn't find any. We did find lots of beer. And when our beer was inside of us, our new friends, Nam and Dat, treated us to theirs.

There are three things men are good for, according to Dat: "Drinking, gambling, and fucking." This was just a piece of the wisdom that was given to us on that night.

I tipped a helpful man in the bathroom, and by doing so created a dangerous precedent, evidenced by his later attempts to earn his tip from Gus. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. And when in Asia, don't tip, unless you want your friend to get a neck massage while he pees.

Finally, don't eat Indian food in Ha Noi, particularly the one suggested by the Lonely Planet. The sweetest revenge of the trip was steering a curious couple away from these overpriced curry mongers. Eat outside and drink outside, on the streets, that's what Vietnamese culture is all about.

On the streets, I arm wrestled twice and lost twice. I also leg wrestled, which hurt.